Wednesday, September 26, 2012

What a friend is..

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares...

Just woke up from my nap and feeling like wanna post something that comes to my mind.. It does have something to do with my dream actually..
Feeling a bit sentimental... sigh..
Yeah, that's me..

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Choice (Monologue)

"If I have a choice in this thing, which clearly...I dont..."

"Im not saying that its going to be easy for me..
it is not right to carrying on like this.."

"I mean I can, 
of course I can!!
but it has a price...
sometimes we just have to risk it.."

"It is not right for me to do that....."

"Hear the voice within..."

"It might not turn out well..
sometimes it doesnt turn out well at all...sigh..
but I have to try..."

"I have to keep trying..
keep trying until this thing gone forever from my life..."

"Come on Azuan!!"
"Have faith."
"I know I can do it"

"Otherwise, it just become nothing.."

What I'm now, remain discreet..... I succumbs to the all important feelings that
my religion and my family comes first and my 'true' feelings last.......

Monday, July 9, 2012


Semoga hati kita segar di bawah nikmat iman dan islam.

Ya muqollibal quluub, sabbit quluubana 'ala deenik....


Semoga perjananku ke tanah suci memberikan aku sebuah titik permulaan kepada sebuah kehidupan yang aku mimpikan dan idamkan...

Friday, July 6, 2012


Now I know that my past years of being a student and teenager is awesome. Such a wonderful time I guess. I missed it. To be frank, I thought  after I graduated from high school, my life will be great and everything  is going according to my plan. Sadly, not everything. However, I've never regret one bit. Redha. Allah has better plans for me. InsyaAllah. 

The reason I called this post 'Reminiscence' is because I found my old pictures during my secondary/high school days and you know what? I looked good....., I think. And these pictures remind me that my habit of editing pictures starts during my school days. Yeah, I like to edit all of my pictures purposely to make it look good. That is why.......hehe..

Prefect (Majlis Pemimpin Pelajar)

"The White Room" uuuuuuuu........

Danau Toba, Medan. 

My nephew...

Good. Of course. 

Model searching. Calvin Klein??

LDP bersama BWP

My nephew.. 

Okay, speechless...zaman dahulu kala....."DAHULU"....hehe..

Muke future doctor da nampak da ni...ameen...insyaAllah..

Kesantunan Berbahasa Asas Kekuatan Bangsa...
Peringkat Kebangsaan Sajak...ehem..

The purpose I post this pictures not to make a statement or what-so-ever. It is just to reminisce those days and because of those days lead to where I am now. 

"I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesteryears are buried deep, leave it any way except a slow way, leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance."

Hopefully the future will be better for me...

Monday, June 4, 2012

Im looking forward to........

"Sesiapa yang Allah kehendaki kebaikan padanya, akan diberi kefahaman di dalam agama.." (Hadis riwayat Ahmad di dalam Kitab Min Musnad Bani Hashim)

"Fastabiqkhairat..." ..Maka berlumba-lumbalah kamu ke arah kebaikan.... - (al-Baqarah 148)


Hidup ini Indah

Ketika aku takut RUGI, aku lupa bahawa hidupku adalah sebuah keberUNTUNGan kerana anugerahNya...

Ketika aku ingin hidup KAYA, aku lupa bahawa HIDUP adalah KEKAYAAN....

Ketika aku takut memBERI, aku lupa bahawa semua yang aku miliki adalah pemBERIan berHARGA dan MULIA.....

Ketika aku ingin menjadi yang terKUAT, aku lupa bahawa dalam kelemahanlah kuasaNya memberikan aku kekuatan...

Ternyata HIDUP ini sangat INDAH jika kita selalu bersyukur dan mampu melihat dari sisi yang positif...

dari: Hamba Allah

Monday, March 26, 2012

My heart ache...

Never ever have I ever felt so low.
When you gonna take me out of this black hole.
Never ever have I felt so sad. 
The way I'm feeling, 
yeah you got me feeling really bad.
Never ever have I had to find.
I've had to dig away to find my own piece of mind.
I've never ever had my conscience to fight.
The way I'm feeling, 
yeah it just don't feel right.

I'll keep searching deep within my soul.
For all the answers. Don't want to hurt or confused no more.
I need peace. So I turn to you Ya Rabbi..
Gotta feel at ease. Need to be free from pain.
Go insane. Damn, my heart aches.

Sometimes vocabulary runs through my head. The alphabet runs from A to Z.
All the conversations, useless.
Brings back hesitation in my mind.
You guys got my conscience asking questions that I cant find.
It seems like I'm not grateful...No.
I'm not crazy. I'm sure I ain't done nothing wrong.
It is just me.
Like my old man said,
Just wait, cause this feeling won't last that long.

and I'll wait.......

Friday, March 23, 2012

Ulang tahun aku!!

Happy birthday. Selamat Hari Jadi. Selamat Hari Lahir.  Haha. Boring. Now I'm Indonesia so its Selamat Ul ang Tahun. Like my anniversary or what-so-ever. Today is my birthday. 20 years now and I still alive. Alhamdulillah. I have grown to be a man that I do not expected to be. A medical student. However, the most important thing I want to dedicate this day to my mom especially. In 1992, 24th March and approximately in the morning, you have giving birth to a special boy. All the pain and sacrifices at the moment you giving birth to me  is out of this world. You were fighting against death so that I live. Words cant describe it. I deserve nothing. Who was the one struggling most on my birthday. Not me of course. Its you Mak and full support from Ayah. Mak and Ayah are deserve the wishes and presents. I know how often I took you guys for granted when I was growing up. I always assumed you'd be there when I needed you and you always were. But I never really thought about what that meant till now and began to realize how often your time and energy were devoted to me. So now, for all the times I didn't say it before, Thank you Mak and Ayah. I love you guys so much! Syukur Alhamdulillah....

Mak and Ayah...this one for you. I love you............

Muah!! Wan da 20 thn da....

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Hari Emak Saya Lahir...

Tanggal 14/3/1954

As usual, 
Happy Birthday Mak!!!!
yg ke 58!

Semakin hari, semakin melanjut usia mak..
tapi bagi wan mak sentiasa muda...
sebab wan terlalu sayang dekat mak.
walaupun wan tak tunjuk sangat,
selalu buat tak endah ..
tp sebenarnya wan ambil kisah...

Each and every words that you said to me,
it is so precious...
I love you...
For all your love and your support,
a million words would be too short.

The words I LOVE YOU,
seem to few
to express the love that I have for you.

Again and again times infinity............




Hjh Meriam binti Awang...

Thursday, February 23, 2012


Day by day,
my money gone away,
each and every single day,
I buy something to eat and it is not okay,
How am I supposed to live happily day by day,
Why my money keep running away,
Please, come back to me weyh!!

Dear Ayah n Mak....hehehehehe.....

Monday, February 20, 2012

Baralek nya urang, bilo tibo maso awak nyo..?

"Baralek nya urang, bilo tibo maso awak nyo..? " Haha. Test2 bahasa minang la pulak. Yesterday, my 'kelompok' and I went to Seli punye brother's wedding. (Terok bhasa aku). It is my first time I saw minang's wedding. Unfortunately, we missed the fully ceremony. We went there just to makan. However, we manage to get to know her brother and also her sister in law. So damn pretty. The wedding is exactly the same like ours in Malaysia but the style a bit different. How to describe it, erm...Over the top!  Yeah, to many decorations, I think. I dont know, I used to go to many weddings in Malaysia with my mom. So, boleh la nak katekan pro sket tentang perkahwinan nih...(the other side of me...)...Plus, I have two sisters and they all got married already. Okay..thanks to my friend Novia Marselina for the invitation.

Oh almost forgot, "Baralek nya urang, bilo tibo maso awak nyo..? "..... means that...." diowang dah kawen, bile time aku pulak?"  Hehehe....

Peace out!!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Apa pun yang terjadi.......everything's gonna be okay...

Ketika mimpimu
yang begitu indah 
tak pernah terwujud
ya sudah lah..

Saat kau berlari mengejar anganmu
dan tak pernah sampai..
ya sudah la..

Apapun yang terjadi 
ku kan selalu ada untuk mu
jangan lah kau bersedih 
cause everything's gonna be okay..


Satu dari sekian kemungkinan
kau jatuh tanpa ada harapan
saat itu raga kupersembahkan
bersama jiwa, cita-cita dan 

Kita sambung satu persatu sebab akibat
tapi tenanglah mata hati kita kan lihat
menuntun ke arah mata angin bahagia
kau dan aku tahu jalan selalu ada

Juga ku tahu lagi problema kan terus menerjang
bagai deras ombak yang menabral karang
namun ku tahu ku tahu kau
mampu tuk tetap tenang
hadapi bersamaku hingga akhir datang


Saat kau berharap
keramahan cinta
tak pernah kau dapat
ya sudahlah

Dengar ku bernyanyi
semua ini belum berakhir

Apapun yang terjadi
ku kan selalu ada untuk mu
jangan lah kau bersedih
cause everything's gonna be okay..


Satu langkah
langkah yang beriring
genggam hati rangkul emosi

genggamlah hatiku
satukan langkah kita

Sama rasa tanpa pamrih
ini cinta across the sea

peluklah diriku terbang bersamaku
melayang jauhhh...woo..woo..
yeahhh...(come fly with me baby)


Ini aku dari ujung rambut menyusur jemari
sosok ini yang menerima kelemahan hati
yeah...aku cinta kau..ini cinta kita..
cukup satu waktu yes untuk satu cinta

Satu cinta ini akan tuntun jalanku
rapatkan jiwamu yo tenang disisiku
rebahkan rasamu untuk yang ditunggu
bahagia hingga ujung waktu


Apapun yang terjadi
ku kan selalu ada untuk mu
jangan lah kau bersedih
cause everything's gonna be okay..

Apapun yang terjadi
ku kan selalu ada untuk mu
jangan lah kau bersedih
cause everything's gonna be okay..

         Dengar ku bernyanyi.........

I know this might sound stupid to you.
Hope to meet you in the future when I'm ready. I chose this path because I'm scared that I might ended up losing my interest and stop liking you like the way I first met you. I intentionally want to go away as far as I can before I turn this casual relationship into serious one. I've set the barrier only to protect you and little to protect myself. I don't care if you want to samekan aku dgn laki2 yg kat luar tu....I don't care. I understand. My fault. Frankly, all men in this world adalah sama secara lumrahnye...
To be hurt and try to deal with it is too much. Sorry. 
Thanks for the book. I like it. 
We both have dreams. Doctors.
We once had a conversation that who's gonna finish our studies first...who's gonna be a doctor first..
But that conversation just became an old memory. 
You'll find your way and I'll find mine.
I pray that you will find someone. If its me then, so be it. Maybe I'm blind but we will see...
My purpose for doing this isn't giving you hope or something to discuss or whatsoever... Jaoh sama sekali...
My truly purpose is to let you know the exact feeling that I have. Trust me, I'm not lying.
I'm the biggest liar in this world but for this, believe me this is true.
and for that matter I'm really sorry. 
Hope you that you will find this as a step to treat me like a normal friend when you see me in the future and I'm so sorry again. Banyak puulak mmg aku minx maap..
I know you are a tough girl. Heartless is a word that describe you.
No matter how hard life can be, you still managed to deal with it.

So, apapun yg terjadi......
Everything's gonna be okay......

trust me.

Friday, February 10, 2012


Sunday, 29th January.
Cuti-cuti Indonesia!!! Hahaha... Another cuti-cuti Indonesia. This time it was Painan. Two different places. Timbulun waterfall and Carocok beach. Fresh water versus salt water. How would you like that! huh!.. Thanks to Abg Shukri for inviting me to go along with him and others seniors and also my batch mates. We were having a blast! It's been a long time since I went to beach and waterfall. Of course the last time we were supposed to go to waterfall at Payakumbuh but unfortunately it is 'kemarau' season. We wasted our time on the road for 5 hours and yet to discover that the waterfall is not a waterfall at all. Ceh! However, we managed to find a place. It is some sort like a water theme park. Yeah like that. We have fun! But enough with that. Sorry.

Back to Painan! Wow!!!!! Timbulun waterfall. Seriously, it is so beautiful and surrounded by nature. The water is so cool and you can see clearly the bottom of the water. For your info, it consists of four levels of waterfall. How cool is that! But we managed to go up to two levels. But seriously, the tranquility is so priceless.

Enough blabbering...lets get to graphics..

Over sebentar ya...hehe..

We have fun!

Makan pun kene ade style!!

Yeah...that's me..

Kat sini dalam gile...aku sowang je yg brani try...serious dalam gile..


After that, we went to Pantai Carocok. There, we rode a banana boat. Plus, I've got the chance to see coral reef. Thanks to abg shuk for his goggle. But before we reached the beach, we all went to bukit (lupa!) to see the whole Painan. Taking photos and enjoy the scenery from higher ground. Tp panas!! But its okay. Enjoy suda!!

Merenung masa depan ye...Ceh!

On our way to Painan beach. Pantai Carocok!!

We still got time to see the sunset. Subhannallah..

Thanks to Abg Shuk and Kak Ain for inviting me personally to join them. I'm very glad that we went there. After the exam we really need a break. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!