Friday, April 29, 2011

Haih.....

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Practical Time...

................dot dot dot dot...excited? not!!!! kepala otak aku skang rase cam da bodo da...(ayat kasar sket)....ye le...tak buat ape2 yg knowledgeable pon kat umah ni....asyik dok melepak kluar malam2.....klua ngn membe2.....makan2,.....tido2.....movies2!!....wah....mmg la otak aku ni da tak bole masuk dgn pembelajaran yg akan dtg.....I just have to endure it like a champ...I mean, I have to pretend like budak excited nk baru belajar...nk cari experience la katekan...urrrghhhh....such a lazy person. am I? takot2 bawak sampai ke degree nnti....susah beb...kene cari jalan penyelesaian....but one thing for sure, holiday break is over!!!! time to prepare myself physically and mentally. I have to find some time to ensure my path what do I want to pursue in the future...is it still a doctor? or something else that suit for me. erm,....we just see about that later on...now, I have to focus on chemical engineering...sng je kan nk tuka2,...cam haram...tp lek la...I can do it. I know I can.  I just have to believe in myself (boring...asyik ckp bende yg same)...Solat istikharah byk2...like my mom said to me...thanks..and to others yg ckp bende same..tak larat nk dgr dah tp takpe..thanks once again...now...bye...esok praktikal weyh...camne tah...herm...


peace out! 
chow!~

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Aftermath..

Not like disaster or anything but it does have the same effects u know..the difference is u just can feel it beneath ur soul. Arrggghhh still painful but I can manage it. I know I can. Through all the frustration, denial, regretting, and all the negative stuff, I manage to deal with it with a charm. Hehee...Okay, the best way to deal ur stress, anger, depression and many more ...my ways are.....

First of all......Scream!!



then after u felt more relax (a little)...

U curse!!! say out loud, cry, say what u wanna say...I know this the worst thing to do..no good...haha..but it helps when u are in bad bad bad bad condition...please dont judge..this is my way..


Then, u pray....tak kesah religion ape2 pon...but my religion is Islam..and Islam taught me to deal with ur stress by praying. It helps a lot! Pray for forgiveness... Plus with zikir. Selalulah berzikir my friends.. Allah is always beside us. 




Hehe...Next my favorite! Eat!!!!! ...I eat a lot. I mean a lot..For those yg kenal aku, heheh...u know la what I meant. Haha.....Yeah, the best way to forget all the bad past is to eat. tak kesah la ape2 pon asalkan sedap...for me chocolates works! Burgers! French Fries! yum.......




Tergoda? I know right...hahaha...


Next, tak cukup syarat kalo tak tgk movies!!!!


then....sing out loud!!!! aku mmg suke malalak...haha...try it...sape yg suke nyanyi..bende ni mmg berkesan...yeah!



Okay thats all...inilah cara aku untuk me-releasekan tension....haha...yeah...this is my way.....n finally u end up wit a smiley face!






LEGA!


Monday, April 4, 2011

Frust la camni..





The result are final. So Azuan please dont be sad. Maybe this is not ur rezeki. Blah blah blah blah...
I know I have to be grateful. I know all of that. Dont tell me. I know. Even though that in front of the people I pretend that this is okay but the true is Not! Of course la, 

Sape tak sedeyh dapat result camni.
 Sape yg  tak sedeyh tak dapt apa yg kite nak. 
Spe yg tak sedeyh kalo ape yg kite da usahakan tp tak dpt.

So Azuan keep positive attitude...blah blah blah blah....Bullshit....(sori)
Penatla kalo nk pretend yg everything is going to be okay...no its not..
You dont know my background...
Its sucks! they wanted me to do what they want me to do...
I know Im not being grateful. Arrrgghhh.....
I want to scream....
But I know this is not the end.....
I will push myself even harder...
Arrrgghhhh...No....susahla nk keep pretending....No positive attitude right now...
So, dont advice me...I know all the things that will came out from people's mouth...trust me
I know....dont bother urself to give me advice..
Frustration....

Jiwa kacaulah.........